Sara Hammerzmith

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS

SWEDEN HAVE WON EUROVISION SONG CONTEST 2012, WITH THE SAME NUMBER ___LORDI____ WON EUROVISION WITH!!!

Of course this happens when I wasn’t present

BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER

SWEDEN

WON

EUROVISION

HOW

COULD

I EVER

No. I can’t. I don’t know where to fucking go, to excited. And I have stable work tomorrow. FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES I’M SO HAPPY I COULD DIE

ASJDLASJDLJDASLJDALSJFASLJFSLDJFSLDJFSLDFJSLDFJSDLJ!!!!

CANNOT WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR.

NEXT YEAR I’M TELLING YAH.

// SARA

PS. I MAY NOT FINISH STALA&SO THING BUT I DON’T CARE RIGHT NOW

I have to get better updating this thing. What the hell is wrong with me. Either way, it’s been around three weeks since this happened, so it’s not really new but alright, here it goes.

As you know, I occasionally travel to Finland to see Stala&SO. But this time, they came here. To us. To Sweden. It was pretty mindfucking, and somewhat exciting. First time in Sweden. How awesome isn’t that. We destined to go to all three shows, Stockholm, Trollhättan and Växjö and our tour starts in Stockholm.

My company for this trip was, you may say as usual, Argo from Estonia. One of the best concertbuddies, if you ask me. We had decided to meet at the busterminal in Stockholm, and while I was waiting for him, outside the restroom, I noticed a few things that upsets me. First of all, I was inside the restroom to change clothes, to get to the concert as fast as possible, and during that I heard the guard talk to a few people. The first one was an italian traveller who needed to use the bathroom before the bus took off, but only had a fiver. You see, you need to possess a golden ten crown to be able to get in. Even though she was clearly not from Sweden (I also know this because she was on the bus from my town to Stockholm) and actually at least had a fiver, the guard didn’t let her in. If I hadn’t been in a clothingchange, I’d have paid for her.

The next incident was another italian dude from the same gang, who at first didn’t have any money at all, rejected again. Then he left, and got some money and came back. The guard had been cleaning or something I guess, cause he hadn’t seen the fella put in any money, SEEN him, even though I heard it. And what does he do? Sure, I didn’t _see_ this, but this was happening right outside my stall, and as it appears, he was getting physical with this guy. The italian guy told the guard that he had paid (which he had) but the guard wouldn’t believe him and got physical (judging from all the “Get off me” and “Let go of me” that was coming from the italian). Eventually the guard let him go, else I’d have been so fucking mad I’d have raged at him.

I wonder why I didn’t actually do that while I was there. I just think it’s fucking ridiculous. If you’re gonna work with people you need to have some fucking compassion, and they clearly 1) wanted to pay but couldn’t. and 2) was in a hurry and 3) wasn’t from Sweden, so they have no need in carrying Swedish coins. I decided to stay put outside while waiting when I was done in case any other would run into problems with him again, so I could pay for them. Argo arrived a little bit later and we started walking to our hotel.

You see, the beauty with Micro is that it’s so close to everything. You literally need to do no more than walk up the shoppingstreet and then turn right and walk up that road and BAM you’re there. We checked in and everything went smooth. We sat down for a short moment to rest and unpack and get stuff ready for tomorrow before we decided to finally get going. To find the place.

I decided to try to use a navigator in my new phone… but the thing is, that I had written down the wrong streetnumber. So technically the phone did no wrong, but damn if I was pissed. We ended up at Nalen, which is pretty much on the other side of where we were supposed to be! I called my mother, as I always do when I get stuck, and the first thing she said was basically “Bitch please, you got the number wrong”. And with her little help we did find our way to the “arena” which was Harry B James. Yes. I know what a shame it is to not find my way to Harry B James. But that’s what it’s like when you brain is stuffed with a lot of stuff on the same time.

We went inside and to our happiness, no entrance fee! We asked at the bar regarding it, but they said that since we got there so early (as it was still ‘restaurant time‘) it was no need to do so! So we sat down with a drink.

It felt so weird to see Stala&SO.’s backdrop on a stage in Sweden. And to see it on Harry B James. We were basically just sitting and staring and discussing it when le wild band appeared….

TO BE CONTINUED

// Sara

So yeah…. That was an interesting kind of event! A few more hours passed, and all of a sudden le wild queue appears! Or no, not really.Two guys went to stand in line for the door, so we figured it was about time we do too. And then as we got there they disappeared, what the hell. All of a sudden after that, people DID come to join up in line, and that’s how we met the lovley swedish sisters Tanja and Sandra! They were the next ones to get in line and they just happened to be swedish. Awesome stuff!

Michael Starr passed us again and this time took the time to high-five the four of us (Me, Michelle,Tanja and Sandra) before going inside. Another hour passed while we were getting to know our new mates and making up strategies for the upcoming gigs. Satchels side, a little towards Michaels side. Eventually, they finally let us in and since we were the first in, we could have our damn pick of places to stay. So, naturally, Satchels side, a bit toward Michaels. We took turns picking up some merch that we’ve been thinking about and then the next wild wait began.

However, the wait wasn’t too long you know. The supportband, for this evening was The Treatment and they began pretty much as expected. And these guys… Mind = Blown. Seriously, what an energy they had! I’ve seen some energetic shit in my life, but this was just out of control! They literally jumped around the whole stage like I don’t know what and extremly outgoing and having great contact with the audience. I was well pleased! Not my first choice of musice maybe, but it was enjoyable!

Half an hour later the actual show began and I must say that the show today was a bit better. Not sure if it only has to do with the murdering audience or if the band actually had better energy, but I’m pretty certain they did. It was just… you know. Better. All in all. And also, that they replaced “Let Me Cum In” with “The Shocker” made it even better. Love it!

I love these guys.

Afterwards we pretty much ditched the arena as soon as possible and having troubles finding a seat outside, we went to a dining place to have some food, and then go back to the arena. We were actually looking for Sandra and Tanja, but instead of finding them we end up meeting Michael Starr. Again. And this time he stopped by us and had a little chat. 

The strange thing about this, is the fact he didn’t stop by for any one else. We were the only ones he personally stopped for. I don’t know why, but fuck if I’m grateful. I think it’s because he saw us there earlier the same day. Now I can’t wait to get to Sweden Rock you know.

After this we hooked up with a couple of guys who had attended the concert, one from Malmö, Fredrik and a guy from Copenhagen, Alex for a small sort of afterparty at his rehearsal lot, where we also got to spend the night. See, places to stay always work out when you’re on the road, especially if you’re kind and give the benefit of the doubt. We left his place around 10am and hit the airport.

The epic, sad, fun thing about this is, when we stepped out of the subway at Kastrup… “The Bells Of Notre Dame” ending reprise got on. It’s one of the most epic endings on a Disney movie ever, and having it played JUST THE MOMENT we stepped onto the airport… gave me mixed feelings. It was like my iPod (who shuffles all the songs) knew this was the ending of an epic trip.

We collected our stuff from the luggagewardrobekindofthing and sat down close to our trainstation and at first repacked the whole shit. And I’m telling you, it doesn’t fucking matter where the hell we are.WE ALWAYS MAKE A MESS. Even if we are at a fucking airport.

When we finally repacked everything we sat down to watch “The Black Cauldron”.I was very surprised in how… dark and scary it actually was. The Hunchback for instance, you have to be a bit older (or at least wiser) to see the dark themes in it. But The Horned King in this one just freaked me out. How he collected corpses from graves and not to mention Gurgi… Owh. cutest character.

Well, actually, in the middle of the movie we had boarded our train and when we had a change in Gothenburg we decided to go to Subway for dinner/lunch/Something. And it was at this epic location the first drafts for the parody “The Hairspray Of Gothenburg” were written. More to be exact, the song “The Hair Of Gothenburg” were written. Epic location indeed. And epic time.

During the last trainride on three hours we managed to discuss the language differencies on Disneylyrics, sing “Aveda Kedavra” a couple of times, sing “the Hair Of Gothenburg” a couple of times and being informed by a witness of Jehova. Pretty smashing if you ask me.

And then… we… were home. From a ridiculously epic trip. One of the best I have ever fucking made. Thanks for everything, everyone!
// Sara

We got up early in the morning for us to hit the flight to Copenhagen and for Sofia to leave us and go home. I love coming to new places. I’ve been in Copenhagen/Denmark before, but it was fucking awesome to finally do a concert there! We got there rather early, somewhat around 10 in the morning. First thing we did was to sit down for breakfast, getting ready for the show and then hitting Amager Bro. It was lovely.

Ok really, it wasn’t much different than a usual town I guess, but I just love discovering new places and even though it’s almost the same as Sweden it felt somewhat different. We did immidiatly look for the concertarena, and after a long walk with a bad GPS we finally saw the big american tour bus which belonged to Steel Panther outside Amager Bio. We weren’t sure however if this was the front, so we took a walk around the block to realize that hell yes, this was the front! We sat down on the benches outside to chill for  abit, talking to some autographhunters… staring the shit out of the supportband… sining The Ticking Noise… before we eventually decided to go get some food at the closest McDonalds.

Afterwards we just got back to the arena and to the very bench we had already been at, but this time we had some company, around the corner of the house. They were playing Steel Panther on this huge radio and we figured we’d battle. With Michelle’s tiny iPhone. Sure, why not you know.

We made up a little “language” if you’d like, so if we’d see anyone from the band we’d say their first letter in their stagename and then name the clock in which direction they were coming. Like “S nine o’clock” or “Z ten o’clock” you know (S = Satchel, Z =Zadinia). So we were sitting there, starting to battle… when I see someone I recognize. I had seen a couple of long haired blondes earlier today, but you know. I remember faces insanely well so there was no doubt who this was. I mumbled silently to Michelle that he was coming, but she didn’t hear me. She had just pu on “Fat Girl” and managed to pause it RIGHT before he starts singing to hear what I say.

She pauses the song. And then you hear a “I saw her drinking beer, eating peanuts by the bar“. THE LOOK ON MICHELLES FACE, and mine too for that matter, must have been fucking priceless. Michael fucking Starr smiled at us and shouted “Thats a great song!”. Starstruck as we were, we couldn’t say any more than just give him thumbs up. What the hell do you even say? After he passed us, Satch and Zadinia came too. The thing is, Stix resembles Harri from Honey Hellraiser, like, ALOT. So yes. I did stare the shit outta Stix, just to make sure it wasn’t actually Harri. This made Stix so suspicious he had to cover himself up, haha. Poor guy. Satchel just looked at us with this “Hahaha, you don’t know who I am” kind of look. Bitch please, who’d you think you’re kidding?

The saddest must have been when le wild Lexxi appeared. All the guys had left. And he was left alone. He wandered around where we were sitting, staring unsure at us and his surrondings and trying to call someone. They fucking left him. Poor guy. However, we weren’t sure how he’d react if we told him where they went, so we pretty much let it be. And as far as I’m concerened, he found them later on.

TO BE CONTINUED

//Sara

Sitting on the train again with Megaras song on repeat, it has become my kind of personal theme. I got it connected with ridiculously many good memories. Even though I heavily missed Rebecka and Andreas last night, we had a great fucking time with Trixie, Mimmi and Stefan. Michelle also joined in as you may know.

Seriously, for the second day in a row I’m just gonna say that our favourite bands are the best bands.

If there’s a price for rotten judgement, I guess I’ve already won that
No man is worth the aggravation, that’s ancient history – been there, done that
Who’d you Think you’re kidding?
He’s the earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden,
But honey we can see right through you
Girl you can’t conceal it
We know how you’re feeling and who you’re thinking of
No chance, no way, I won’t say it no, no
You swoon, you sigh don’t deny it oh oh
It’s to cliche, I won’t say I’m in love

At least out loud, I won’t say I’m in love

Yes, I know I’m not done telling you about Steel Panther yet, however I just have to pop in and Tell you that. I somehow must be living in a dream, and if not, I’m at least living the dream.

I’m currently on the train to Trollhättan and I had one of the Most spectacular nights in my life last night. After all these years of touring around to see bands and all have started to pay off. Right now I’m so happy I can die, and we just started the journey. Thanks Stala&so for proving to us starving fans there are still hope. Thanks. Thanks to Rebecka and Andreas too. All of you.

My favourite bands are truly the best bands in the world.

So yeah, we threw ourselves out in the dark night of Oslo, and actually, fun enough, we had accidently run into  a couple of Fanthers on the hotel, so we figured we’d stalk them. Sad but true, but we figured that’d be the easiest way to get there. Sadly, after stalking them a bit, they went into a pizzeria. So eventually, we were on our own. Again.

We took up the pinky phone to guide us, and it completly misguided us until we realized we could ask it to calculate a walking route for us. Said and done. We eventually found our way, what we didn’t know though, was the the concertarena was at the back of it. We went into a building and found the OFFICE for the musichall. So we were basically like WHAT THE FUCK. We went outside again and caught sight of some Fanthers and followed them. To the backside. Oh dear lord.

The queue was already pretty long, it wasn’t even funny. I had given up hopes to be in front row, but once we got in… there were spots. On Lexxi’s side. GOD BLESS!! We had planned to be on Lexxi’s side for this night, so I guess this is what we should call JUST OUR LUCK! We took turns to watch the spots and going to the merchstand. I left it with pins, stickers and a shirt richer.

The support band went on just on time exactly and it was a fine band. I’ve seen better, but I’ve also seen worse. I don’t know what to think abou the 80’s wigs or the firemanstripper, but apart from that, it was good.Well done, Lipstick Liontigers!

You know, I love these bands. Only half an hour later, (21.00) Steel Panther WAS on stage. Not a minute later. I’ve been so used to bands ALWAYS being fucking late, so it was great to see a band right on time for once.

It was a great show though. Steel Panther is always fucking entertaining you know? Even if I haven’t seen a proper show ’til now, I know they’re entertaining. And it’s even better when you get to see an actual show. I’ll never forget the snyde looks Satch and Mike gave Lex when he said he had rode there on a pony. I love men who ride, so keep it up baby boy.

A more proper review will (and I promise this time! It’s almost done.) will come up on Hårdrock.com, I’ll link you further as soon as it’s up!
Set: SupersonicsexMachine / Tomorrow Night / Fat Girl / Asian Hooker / Just Like Tiger Woods / Gold Digging Whore / Satchel Solo / It Won’t Suck Itself / Community Property / Eyes Of  The Panther / Girl From Oklahoma / Party All Day / Turn Out The Lights / Death To All But Metal / -Encore- / 17 Girls In A Row / Let Me Cum In 

After this, we struggled a while to get a hold of a place which was still open to get some evening food before we once again hit our hotel for some last minute sleep before tomorrows adventure.

TO BE CONTINUED

// Sara

Finally! I’m almost done with all the important school work and I’ve also managed to gather myself a bit enough to start writing about this. It’ll be somewhat like the Lichtenfels story, divided into parts so it won’t get too long.

Destined for this trip was me, Sofia and Michelle. This is seriously one of those trips that’s been planned for far too long before it was actually happening, and we’ve come to realize that the earlier they are planned, the more epic they become. First out was the show in Oslo and we decided to go there the same day.

I met up with Michelle downtown about an hour or two before the bus was about to departure. The plan was to both make some last minute currency exchange and also put in some money in the bank.  But, conveniently, Forex figured it’d be a great idea to be shut. Just today. Right before us heading to not one, but two countries with two different currencies. Oh well, what to do? We hit the other bank and put in the money before we sat down for lunch at Subway instead.

It’s something with Subway. The parodylyrics of “The Bells Of Notre Dame” posted in the entry below (how many of you got that it was “The Bells of Notre Dame?”) was written at a Subway restaurant. But I’ll come to that later. What we really did more than eating was to worry over the time, discussing the band and Disneyfilms. Pretty much stuff me and Michelle ALWAYS do.

When we later did reach the busstop the bus was already there. WIN I SAY! We put our bags together with Sofia’s, I totally recognize her epic bag from long sight. Boarding the bus, meeting up with Sofia and soon we would be on our way. Sofia and I had a lot of catching up to do, and it was all done during the busride. Or at least a bit, hehe. Once we reached Oslo we headed to a gorcerystore to get some drinks and snacks… and after that our first adventure was about to begin.

I had sworn to print a map to mark out the hotel and the arena… but did I? No. Of course not, Of course I forgot that. So we used my pink cellphones poor navigation system, the cellphone whose screen doesn’t even work anymore, and it directed us the wrong way all of the time, until we found a street we wanted to follow. It took us 50 minutes before we actually reached the damn thing, but oh well.

Once at the hotel we… relaxed. Relaxed for five minutes or something and then started to get ready. And three girls in one hotel room.. Do I need say more? No. I guess you’ve figured. I think my favourite part was when Michelle was tieng my corset on the same time as I was removing suspenders from Sofias corset and Sofia was straightening Michelle’s hair. All at once. We were standing in a little circle. And after we worked the glitterspray in the bathroom it _literally_ looked like Edward Cullen has vomited in there. Or something.

Eventually, we all did get ready and we tied on our best partyboots, grabbed our tickets and money and ID’s and hit the roads of Oslo again, this time to find Rockefeller. Which would turn out to be more difficult than we had imagined.

To Be Continued

// Sara

For some odd reason, “The Bells Of Notre Dame” just keep coming up on my iTunes as I’m about to finish writing something regarding Steel Panther. And always when I’m done, it’s the Latin part. This forces to write
LEXXIS RUNNING FOR HIS HAIR NOW
LEXXIS RUNNING FOR HIS HAIR NOW.

But now it’s the Roadie and Stix talking. Damn faith. 

I got home from Steel Panther yesterday, one of the best journeys I have ever done. I’m still in euphoria from it, and even though I day has passed I’m still too sick and tired AND HAPPY to write something. All I can say is that I love the man beneath very much, and I love his band very much too. I’ll tell you more tomorrow. Or something.

(LEXXI’s RUNNING – FOR HIS HAIR NOW
LEXXI’S RUNNING – FOR HIS HAIR NOW
LEXXI’S JUMPING FOR HIS HAIR NOW
DON’T LET STIX GET YOU!!!)
* Stix pulls Lexxis bag, Lexxi falls and becomes unconscious. The roadie appears to this dreadful scene*

 STOP! Schreid the old roadie!
– Innocent hair you’ve spilt before you, on the steps, of Gothenburg
– I’m guiltless, he ran I pursued
– And now you would add this hair’s death to your guilt, on the steps, of Gothenurg
– My conscience is clear!
– You can lie to yourself and your minions, you can claim that you haven’t a qualm, but you never can run nor hide what you’ve done to the hair, the very hair of Gothenburg!

 And for one time in his life of power and control. Stixie felt a twinge of fear for his immortal hair
– What must I do?
– Care for the hairspray, and treat is as your own!
– What, I’m to be saddled with this cheap… Very well. I let him live here with you in your lounge.
– Live here, where?
– Anywhere… Just so it’s kept locked away where no one else can see… In the toilet, perhaps. Who knows, our lords way works in mysterious way. Even this foul hairspray may yet prove one day to be, of use, to me.

And Stix gave the spray a weird name, a name that means professional- Proffs Hairspray
Now here is a riddle to guess if you can, sing the hair of Gothenburg. Who is the hairspray and who is the man?

// Sara

That’s just insane. I was watching the end credits of Hecules, cause it was said on IMDB that Hades was about to have some “crazy credits” like Hugo in Notre Dame, saying some stuff at the end, which, I may add, he didn’t (Hades that is). But I’m.. overthrilled I watched/listened through the end credits.

“I Won’t Say (I’m In Love)” and “Hellfire” is my top favourite Disneysongs. It’s songs I’ve loved even since I was little, and I had a bit hard time chosing which one of them would be the absolute number one. Megara is my alltime fave female character, which is in favor for “I Won’t Say“, but “Hellfire” is so… powerful and epic in another way, and covers a pretty tabo subject, within Disneys magical world that is. Frollo being one of the more complex villains was also in favour for “Hellfire“, and has for that matter beaten “I Won’t Say” with just… a milimetre. Until now.

Yes, I’m gonna write this overepically, even if it sounds ridiculous. Either way, “A Star Is Born” was done and all of a sudden, this wild 80’s kindof pop song starts. I was like whoa, what’s that? And then I recognize some small parts of the melody. I was like no no no, it can’t be? Can it?

“Who do you think you’re kidding, he’s the earth and heaven to you, try to keep it hidden, but honey we can see right through you, girl you can’t conceal it, we know how you feel and who you’re thinking of, No chance, no way, I won’t say it no, no, you swoon you sigh why deny it oh oh,  it’s too cliche, I won’t say I’m in love” 

HSAKDHHDKEHRKH#”#”#”!½!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)!/#)/#””)/#)”/#/”/#)/”#/”/#)”/#)/!!!!!!

And not only that. Pretty soon I start to recognize the voice singing. Sounds somewhat like Belinda Carlisle, one of my biggest childhood idols. But HAHA, it can’t be? But seriously, it sounds just like her… *quick check on internet* “Belinda Carlisle recorded a single for the song and made a promovideo for Hercules to it”.

ASJLASJKLJHRFDKHJ”!!!!/”)/!)”/!)/”)!/½½½½HKSHZKAHKHAKHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT. DOES. NOT. HAPPEN. NO CHANCE, NO WAY, I WON’T BELIEVE IT NO NO!!!

But fuck. It did. Oh my god. And sorry, but this version of the song also kicked Hellfire off the first place. Sorry ’bout that Frollo. The question is actually, HOW THE HELL HAVE I MISSED THIS EARLIER?!?!?!? HOW HAVE I MISSED THIS?! It’s insane. From now on, I’ll pay attention to every-fucking-end credit. EVERY SINGLE ONE. To avoid these stupid things.

Fittingly to this, my iPod, Ladygaga, figured it was an awesome time to stop working. When I discovered a new song to listen to ’til my ears bleed, and especially when I have a ten hour trainride before me. And of course in such time there is no time to fix it. My iPods must fucking hate me. In times like this, we death eaters say you must get Lord Voldemorts behind. And get a new iPod shuffle. A new Little Buddy.

Sorry for the COMPLETLY confusing entry. I’m in euphoria for Belinda and Meg, Steel Panther soon, and wild cheap hotels just appearing like crazy right now…

NP: Court Of Miracles – Midi
// Sara