I’ve thought about this with celebrity crushes.
You probably hear me say alot that I’m gonna do him, I’m gonna do her, I’m gonna do that and I’m gonna do this and everything and everyone. That’s pretty much something like, everyone says. But then you have those few people, who touches you a bit deeper than just something you’d hit. You know, someone you could see yourself with. Someone that touches your heart whenever you see them, and you keep seeing them all the time.
And, they are also the one you can’t have. Yeah, for some the groupie dream do come true, but lets be realistic it rarely happens. Then you have the ones that fancies a cartoon. They are well screwed.
I’ve also thought about how picky I am with whom I talk to about it. I have a few crushes, but there are a very few who knows them, or even know about it at all. In all honesty, I think Michelle is the only one who knows about them all. I guess people in general can figure out when I fancy someone, but I also think some would be well surprised if they knew about everyone I fancy… either way!
Why is that? Well, simply because I feel she is one of the few that would care, she is one of the few that would listen and understand, one of the few I can trust with it and most importantly, she is one of the few I don’t think would be bored.
It’s the last part that is the most important one. I have oftenly, maybe in the wrong, got the feeling that people have grown to be bored about it, when I talk about them. I can tend to talk ALOT about things I like, and especially people I fancy. But after a while, you get shorter and shorter responses, you never really talk about it like you used to. You wonder what the hell is wrong when you all of a sudden realizes that maybe that video I sent was a little too much, maybe I said a little too much about it.
So you stop talk about it. You stop mention it, and keep it to yourself. Either you try your hardest to drown the feelings, or they are just eating you up from the inside. So where do you go from there? When you don’t know where to turn anymore? When you don’t know who you can talk to about it?
To sit around and have it closed within yourself, it has driven me crazy.
Does anyone know? Does anyone feel the same?
I most certainly wonder…
//Sara
Sara Hammerzmith 